life as i know it

"...everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." -Sylvia Plath

Thursday, December 01, 2005

just a little overwhelmed

Fourteen more days. Four more classes. Three more papers. Three more finals. Two more labs. And then at last I may have one more fresh breath of sanity.
In the meantime, it seems my to-do list is increasing ten-fold by the day. My motivation has apparently gone into hiding, and so the schoolwork is struggling forward at a ridiculously slow pace. When I’m not in class, my beeper appears to be permanently attached to my hip, resulting in a constant reminder that even if my motivation suddenly returns, it may be interrupted at any moment by a call to some random emergency room. At that point, all thoughts of schoolwork must dissipate, as my sole focus becomes the suicidal patient sitting before me. Before I realize how quickly time has passed, I will find myself alone on a cold and desolate interstate, struggling to maintain consciousness as I journey the 45 minute trip back from the mountains. It’s 6 a.m. before I’m finally able to remove the batteries from my pager and lay down for a few hours of sleep. Then it’s up again, still no motivation, and the continuous struggle to complete an analysis of a very complex woman. I type a few sentences before I realize that my mind is focused more on the pile of gifts that need to be wrapped, the ornaments that still have yet to be hung on my pitifully bare tree, and the enormous piles of clothes that have covered my bedroom floor since last night’s closet collapse. Not to mention all the Christmas cards to be addressed, the stamps to be bought, the laundry begging to be acknowledged, the party plans to be finalized, and the fact that other than tuna and Doritos, my pantry is filled with only remnants of expired cereal and cans of spinach. Add on top of that the uterine cramps, tension headaches, and excessive fatigue, and I’d have to say I’m probably not the most pleasant company at the present time. Nevertheless, I shall persevere. The to-do list will gradually decline and in 14 days, I will again feel some semblance of sanity. Or at least a sense of relief.


At 9:52 PM, Blogger georgiacoast said...

I feel your pain sweetheart...all except the uterine cramps. You'll make it, somehow we always do.....

At 8:32 PM, Blogger Cynthia said...

Thank you for stopping by my journal and your kind words. Good luck making it through to the end of the semester. Your field needs people with the compassion your writing displays.


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