life as i know it

"...everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." -Sylvia Plath

Saturday, December 17, 2005


Finals ended Thursday morning, and Thursday night was spent enjoying the company of my fellow doctors-to-be. Following a long evening of good food, good drinks, and lots of laughter, the remainder of the night and early morning hours were spent bonding with my two closest girlfriends. We laid in bed talking and laughing, reminiscing and planning, till daylight began drifting through the slatted blinds. We talked of our views on abortion and capital punishment, the ups and downs of romantic relationships, the need for independence as a woman, and the importance of female bonding. We talked of the latest Nip Tuck scandals and the breathtaking beauty of a shirtless Matthew McConaughey. We talked of the ever-increasing trend of anorexia and the wonders of loving our bodies despite the stretch marks (renamed “growth marks”) and the newly forming wrinkles. We recounted our stories of grieving the death of loved ones, of enduring bad breakups, and of falling in love. We talked of our curiosities, our dreams, and our disappointments. Exhaustion at last took control and we collapsed into the first peaceful sleep we’ve had in months, all three of us snuggled beneath piles of blankets in my old, weathered bed.

I didn’t realize how long it had been since I’d just spent time with girlfriends. School and work have consumed the majority of my life for the past few months, leaving little free time. And so when I found myself laughing and crying that night, lying in a heap on my bed with two of my newest best friends, I was overcome with feelings of gratitude. I was reminded of the simplicity of friendships and the comfort in just talking with my girlfriends. I was reminded of what friendship is really all about, and for a moment I forgot all the loneliness I’ve felt throughout these past several months. My advisor told me one day that the friends she made in her doctoral program have been her best friends throughout her life. These are the ones that were in her wedding, the ones that witnessed the birth of her daughter, the ones that she vacations with every summer. That night, I looked around the room and realized that these girls were those friends for me. Of course, my old friends will always still be there, their place in my heart will always remain. But as the days pass, and the experiences of my life change, I become ever more aware of the importance of friendships, the old and the new, and the value they both bring to my life.

Some of my girlfriends have been there since the days of my childhood, sharing a bond that began with innocence and a carefree nature. Others have been there since my college years, sharing a time of exuberant youth and vitality. Still others have been there for only a few months, walking by my side and offering comfort amidst a world of excruciating chaos.

No matter how long my girlfriends have been in my life, they will always be in my heart.


At 4:29 PM, Blogger Jessie said...

oh man, am i being over-emotional or what. that part about what your advisor said just about had me in tears. the time with your friends sounds wonderful--and energizing! i'm always amazed how as we change and grow, so do our friendships. sometimes there's loneliness in the transitions, but those moments of connection are worth the wait.

Congratulations on surviving the semester. And here's to new friendships--Cheers!!

At 10:32 AM, Blogger Tammy said...

I would love a bonding session like that! How lucky you are to have close friends, old and new. Too many people take for granite the power of friends. They get so busy and forget that they have friends until one day they reach out and they are gone.

I'm really happy for you, this is something you needed.


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