spiraling

I'm caught in the strength of what feels to be an infinite spiral. Each day, I awaken to a world of beauty, but the sunlight fades for me long before the arrival of evening. What has happened to those days when the colors of the world bore into me so deeply than even in the darkest moment of the night, I was overwhelmed by the world's beauty? What happened to the days of blissful vitality and the nights filled with a sweet serenity? I feel the sparks of life still desperate to ignite within the depths of me, yet I squelch the flame before those glorious burning embers can escape. Why, you might ask...if I know that incredible life force is still the essence of my spirit, then why do I resist? Why do I allow such battles to exist within me? Why do I find myself shaded from the sunlight and lost from the beauty?

Fear.