letting go of wishes

Ever since Saturday, I’ve found myself thinking about the wish fairy. For my Sunday Scribblings post, I let the words flow from my soul. For the first time in quite a while, I wrote without thinking or censoring. I wrote without worrying what other’s responses may be. I just wrote, and writing so freely felt good.

Indeed, I was quite amazed at the overwhelming number of comments I received on this post. My appreciation to you all for stopping by to leave your thoughts and let me know you’re out there, a precious reminder that maybe my words do mean something to someone. Maybe my writing is not always in vain. Maybe my words have a potential power that I have been too afraid to acknowledge.

My words for this week’s prompt were not words of conformity or comfort. How much easier it might have been for me to simply write out three wishes that I would love for some little magical fairy to grant me. But the easy road is not always the best road. If I want to expand my mind, if I want to grow within myself, if I want to be an authentic writer, then I have to get real with myself. And the reality is that I would love to make wishes and have them granted and live happily ever after. But the reality is also that my own life has shown me that turning wishes into reality is not always the dream we imagine it to be.

When I first began thinking about the possibility of three wishes, I thought I would wish for health and safety for all. And then I realized that this wish held far more repercussions than just a world full of happy, healthy people. Without sickness, we would not value health. Without death, we would not value life. And so despite the wonderful illusion of a completely healthy society, I realized that the losses that would accompany such a wish were far more costly than the reward.

For my second wish, I thought perhaps I would wish for no more financial problems and freedom from debt. Quite a selfish wish, but one I seriously considered. But again, I thought about this wish. The more I thought, the more I realized that without financial burdens, I would never know that value of intrinsic worth. I would never learn the importance of responsibility or experience the sheer joy and peace that follows a long day’s hard labor. With no financial concerns, I would be tempted to indulge myself in a life of luxury. Rather than making a difference in patients’ lives, I would likely find myself bored and empty and searching for meaning instead of truly living a purposeful life.

I never made it to my third wish. After all this thinking, I realized that I have spent far too much of my life making wishes. Perhaps it wasn’t a magical fairy to whom I made these wishes. But I wished nevertheless…I wished when the clock struck identical numbers, I wished when I threw pennies in fountains, I wished when I clasped my hands and prayed to God. I spent a large portion of my life wishing. And what I eventually realized is that wishing isn’t really living. In order to fully live my life, I have to ground myself in reality. This doesn’t mean that I never get lost in the clouds of imagination. But it does mean that I have come to accept the path of life I am walking. I have come to find my own path and my own pair of shoes to walk this road. And inevitably, I will encounter obstacles. But wishing away those obstacles would only keep me from learning the most valuable lessons in life.

And so it is…the wish fairy is tempting, but in the end, I choose to keep walking.