about my weekend...inspired by "morning"

I was out of town this past weekend, visiting my best friend for another baby shower. I spent the weekend immersed among her family, finding an unexpected comfort and feeling of belonging.

Before I left the city on Friday, I read the topic for Sunday Scribblings and the prompt stayed with me throughout the weekend. Though I had no time to just sit down and write, I kept being reminded of the prompt and writing blogs in my head about “morning”. Especially the last night, in the wee early hours of morning, when the rest of the family had long since gone to sleep and it was just my best friend and I snuggled on the couch. So many words came to me in those moments, words about the transition from night to morning and the beauty of a world gone silent. Later that night/morning, I walked outside and again the words began to flow within my head. Words about the serenity of standing under an endless sky in the country. Words about twinkling stars that shine so bright it is actually possible to see the constellations. Words about so many memories I have from my own time in that rural town. And really, so few of those words had anything to do with “morning” but that prompt was what kept the words spilling over in my mind.

And so now here it is on Monday morning, a full week of school and work that lies before me. It is morning and yet I have no inspiration to write on the prompt of “morning”. And so I am just writing today, attempting to write the words that came so easily over the weekend. Releasing the words that have been longing for escape into the world, onto the paper, out of the confines of just me.

I was overcome with awe nearly the whole weekend. Driving down a country road, the sun beaming down, bleaching the tiny white puffs of cotton in the fields on either side of the road. Standing by a small pond just outside my best friend’s house, the reflections on the water reminding me of the passing of years and the beauty of our aging. The silence under a black night sky, a refreshing, soothing change from the constant noise of the city.

All weekend, I found myself being taken back in time only to be quickly returned to the present. A timeline of memories captured in photographs…the transition from reckless youth to marriage and real jobs and now babies. Pictures from the early days of our friendship, road trips every weekend, late nights at bars. Pictures from engagements and bridal showers. Pictures of her in a stunning white gown, me in a long black satin dress, our arms tight around one another. Five years later…and now pictures of our hands intertwined across her belly, a precious baby girl almost ready to enter the world.

The feelings seem impossible to describe. Overcome with emotions, the tears of joy and love welling in my eyes so frequently these days. It has always been difficult to describe our friendship to others. A connection so deep that it crosses all boundaries, traverses all bridges, seeps down past the heart and into the very core of the soul. Since the early days, we always knew we were soul mates. And now I feel the deepest connection to her unborn daughter, an extension of the connection that she and I will always share. And so as I sit next to her, my hands feeling the movement of this tiny baby girl, it is an unreal experience for me. Love brimming over as I remind them both that I am always here and will always love them.

It was so hard to leave yesterday, knowing that when I return, that baby girl will be coming into the world. As I pulled away from her house and drove towards the interstate, I could not stop the tears from falling. Tears of nostalgia, tears of anticipation, tears of joy. More than anything, tears of love. And even now, as I sit here on this Monday morning, with a full week of daily life awaiting me, the tears are here. Basking in years of memories and the love of a beautiful friendship, I will go out into the world today and do what needs to be done. But in every step I take, I will allow myself to be reminded of beauty, friendship, and love.