life as i know it

"...everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." -Sylvia Plath

Sunday, December 10, 2006

"just one of those friendships"

So strange to think that we only truly met in person for the first time on Thursday night. So weird when I remember that this friendship started with blogs and emails and text messages and phone calls. So unbelievable when I turn my head and see this beautiful woman sitting next to me, knowing that this friendship existed within our hearts long before we ever met.

It was like a scene from a movie at the airport. The reuniting of long-lost sisters, best friends, separated at too early of an age to remember. Connecting the voice, the face, the favorite soft blue jacket lighting up amidst the darkness of a bitterly cold southern night. Squealing and laughing and literally jumping in circles. Impossible to get enough hugs and then stepping back for brief moments to look, to remind ourselves that the surrealism was indeed reality. Driving off toward our first night of bonding in person, her hand naturally on my arm, my giddiness resulting in missed turns on freeways and our ramblings overflowing into one synchronized fiesta of sounds.

Time stopped that first night. The world and all our worries ceased to exist. Snuggled on the couch, we caught up on twenty-something years of experiences, memories, fears, revelations. Like kids on Christmas Eve, sleep was not an option. Giddiness, giggling, an abundance of excitement. Only when our eyes fell too heavy and our bodies were burrowed warmly in thick red corduroy did we finally fall asleep.

Friday morning brought more amazement. Lots of lists and endless chatterings. Reminders of “I love you” and “this is real”. Stuck in traffic with songs to make us laugh and cry. Skeins of yarn, soft textures, and the exchange of crocheting and knitting. Daylight faded, deep secrets found a voice of courage, and we found comfort in the mere presence of one another. Then more laughter as we sang along with Martina’s Christmas songs and decorated the tree with childhood ornaments and endless strings of beads. Posing in front of the tree for our first holiday photo, crazy hair in both directions, but the purity of our smiles captured it all…the happiness, the comfort, the relief, the faith. The eternal capturing of a moment when life was not too much or not enough…it was all it was and just enough.

Saturday morning brought sunlight too bright for our tired eyes and pleadings for more sleep. Then a long day of car rides and music and the company of good friends. Cuddling snuggly puppies that needed homes and love. Bathing the precious bundles of joy with hugs, one shelter to another to another. Giving so much love to those abandoned babies until our hearts felts as if they would literally burst. Then a night of too many tears and sadness and the brave verbalizations of pain. After the tears had dried, the laughter returned. The stresses made easier with more lists and dedications, the reminders of another visit soon, soon, soon. As our last night together came to a close in the early morning hours, I could feel the anxiety rush in as I searched for sleep. My heart literally ached, pounding with dread. Then I turned my head to the right, closed my eyes, listened to the soft, peaceful breaths of my dear friend, and I knew that this was only the beginning.

Three days and three nights, but it has been filled with forever life-altering moments. If I close my eyes now, I can still see her smile lighting up the room, her bright blue eyes twinkling as our laughter erases the pains of life, if only for a moment. If I close my eyes, I can still feel her hand on my arm. I can still hear her angelic voice finding newfound courage. I still hear “I love you”. And I know this is just “one of those friendships”.

12 Comments:

At 9:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, our hearts have melded together. I am confident of that and SO thankful for you. This weekend was priceless... and I know I will come back here often to read your account of our time together. You say it all so beautifully. Love you, sweet one.

 
At 9:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, our hearts have melded together. I am confident of that and SO thankful for you. This weekend was priceless... and I know I will come back here often to read your account of our time together. You say it all so beautifully. Love you, sweet one.

 
At 9:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, our hearts have melded together. I am confident of that and SO thankful for you. This weekend was priceless... and I know I will come back here often to read your account of our time together. You say it all so beautifully. Love you, sweet one.

 
At 9:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, our hearts have melded together. I am confident of that and SO thankful for you. This weekend was priceless... and I know I will come back here often to read your account of our time together. You say it all so beautifully. Love you, sweet one.

 
At 3:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

very beautiful. Thanks for sharing your words about a loving friendship.

 
At 6:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm SORRY for the million comments.... blogger was acting up and wouldn't post, but look, I guess it fixed itself! I'm sorry.

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger la vie en rose said...

priceless!

 
At 8:03 PM, Blogger Jessie said...

awwww! :) this makes me smile. i'm so happy that the two of you found each other and even happier that you actually got to spend time together! td, this was a beautiful tribute to your friend.

tonight i had a conversation with a blogging friend that i recently met in person...it was much the same experience. and we wondered if perhaps we had known each other in past lives. i don't know...but there's something really incredible when there is such a strong connection. td, i can't wait to meet you one of these days also! blogging creates such a serious sisterhood. i am so grateful for this!

lots of love to you,
j.

 
At 3:54 AM, Blogger Sky said...

great post...sounds like you had a wonderful weekend and connection. :)

when are you going to tell us about your new puppy? what kind did you get? what name? we want to know everything!

 
At 7:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hiya Tara
Just returning from a 7 month blogging hiatus, and am dropping in on folks who had commented on my blog before. Feel free to drop by anytime, and I'll pop back here as well. I'm baaaack. Thanks for keeping me linked from your site all that time! :-)

-Somnambulist Seeker

 
At 9:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh this is divine-and you captured all the beauty and love of this visit of souls and hearts so beautifully.

Love to you

 
At 3:47 PM, Blogger megg said...

I'm so so so happy for you that you had such a wonderful, connecting weekend. I've missed you and I hope that this has re-energized you and reminded you of how loved and cherished and lovely you are. Merry Christmas, TD! (I'm without my own computer so I can't email properly but I wanted to say HAPPY HOLIDAYS to you!!!)

 

Post a Comment

<< Home