defining daily life
“What if we didn’t define our daily life by what we accomplish?”
As I sat in class this afternoon, fighting the grogginess of insomnia’s aftereffects, I was struck by these words. In the context of a discussion centered on the values of productivity and success that are so prevalent in western societies, this question was raised. But far beyond the specific class discussion, this question set me forth on a broader path of curiosity and introspection.
Indeed, what if our daily lives were not defined by how much we accomplished or the notches of success we proudly mark before retiring for the night? What if we stopped focusing so much on checking off each item on the to-do list? What if we re-created our own individual meanings for the word “accomplishment”? Is smiling at a stranger or hugging a friend or enjoying moments of stillness any less of an “accomplishment” than doing the grocery shopping or completing a work assignment? How do we, individually and collectively, define our daily lives? And does our definition reflect our authentic values?
As my professor pointed out this afternoon, parents often ask their children “what did you DO today” upon their return from school. But how many of us stop to actually think about why we ask such questions? Why is there such a focus on what has been DONE? Our society and our American culture have instilled in us the conditioned belief that we must DO something in order to be worthwhile. It is a belief that many of us have come to accept without question. But is it true, for us?
For me, life’s meaning is not about what I do or don’t do. It is about who I am, who others are, and our being in relationships with one another. For me, life is not about DOING, but rather about BEING.
I spend much of my time occupied with classes, studying, working, and doing the necessary errands that reality demands. The act of “doing” cannot be extinguished, nor should it be. It is not in the “doing” that we lose our meaning and purpose, but when the “doing” becomes more valuable than just “being”.
I admit that I am often guilty of defining my own daily life by what I have accomplished throughout the day. I experience a sense of pride in the completion of tasks, and there is nothing wrong with feeling good about finishing 5 loads of laundry or reading all of the assignments before a particular class. But for me, there is something personally wrong when I define my life by those necessary daily activities.
So what if I defined my daily life in some other way? How would I define it?
Taking away those actions of “accomplishment” or success, I would define my life in a way that much more closely resembles the person that I am and the inherent values that abide within my soul. I would define my life by the love I give and receive. I would define my life by gratitude for blessings and prayers for those in need. I would define my life by a balance of dedication to self and others, moments of excitement and peace, the treasures of beauty and hope. I would define my life in terms of smiles and laughter, hugs and kisses, words and affections. I would define my life through creativity and dreaming, inspiration and taking chances, holding and releasing, knowing and believing.
At the end of our lives, does it really matter if the carpet was vacuumed every Saturday? Does it really matter if we set aside work on a dissertation in favor of an afternoon spent in the company of loved ones and the beauty of Nature? Does it matter if we worked overtime or did the dishes immediately after dinner? For me, these are not the things that matter in the end. At the end of my life, what will matter is that I have known the power and fragility of love, that I have made a difference in my own life and in the life of others. For me, defining my daily life means that I must purposefully embrace it, for what is it worth at the end for a life that was never truly lived?
8 Comments:
oh my dear..this post speaks to me on such a deep leve.
“What if we didn’t define our daily life by what we accomplish?”
i love that question. i mean i LOVE that question! i'm going to write it at the top of my journal page and spend some time with that one...a nice long while with it, actually.
i grew up in a family of workaholics. your endeavors didn't mean much unless they ran you into the ground. my parent worked ALL the time. my grandparents thought that the hard you worked, but more deserving of praise you were.
i'm glad you brought up the discussion of asking a child: "what did you do today?" it is food for thought. we learn so much from such a young age...and not all of it is positive.
i love how asking such a simple question (“What if we didn’t define our daily life by what we accomplish?” can completely shift ones perspective to something so much more positive.
much love to you, friend. and thank you for sharing these thoughts! they were exactly what i needed to read. ;)
ummm...i just read the comment i posted...and am realizing that i probably should have proof read it! oh well. what if we didn't define our daily life by perfectionism? :)-
delurking to tell you this is an AWESOME post. I so need to live by this. I'm always worried so much about my goals and plans that I think I often miss out on just BEING. Fortunately for me my fiance is sort of the opposite. So I think we balance each other out....
anyway thanks! (and I'm a fellow Atlantan, by the way)
I wrote something really deep and prfound the other morning, but it was at 5:30, which maybe explains why it's not here now - wonder where it went?
in any case, I wish you well and enjoyed reading back through some of your posts. Thanks for posing this question!
What a life giving question this is.
I am quite the doer. I love accomplishing. And what I loved about what you shared here is that it is not about not doing these things, but the VALUE we place on them. We have to do stuff and sometimes a lot of stuff. Yet do we do these things for the satisfaction of them or for "accomplishment" and just to get them done and to make ourselves feel important?
How would I define success for myself? How will I? I will be taking these questions with me inot the week.
Thank-you!
oh, well, it is your old auntie who only has a to-do list so she will remember why she went to the grocery store in the first place!
this is a fabulous post for those who are much more energetic and driven that this old girl - who actually march to the beat of some clock or drum. i have finished those days, i suppose, and now do what i damn well please almost every day...except when i must go to the doc or to PT or some other sort of place that i am mandated to go in order to keep things working and greased. oh, and then there is the gray mane - gotta keep the roots colored so that i don't look any older than i am or feel!
you posted it, so pay attention, girlie! find the time to DO LIFE now before you are old, gray, tired, and too wobbly to enjoy it! :-)
Wow...I need to think about this question...because it resonates SOOO much with me right now (it's difficult to really SAY what you do everyday as a SAHM). Hmmm...wonderful post. Thank you!
what a powerful insightful
post -
now i am going to meditate on this one - the wisdom is so soulful and
completely true
(hugs)
Post a Comment
<< Home