Poetry Thursday - night shift
It's easy at 5 a.m. to get lost. Lost among the streets in a widespread city of towering buildings that all begin to look the same. Lost among the thoughts that accompany a night filled with too many tragedies, too much intensity, too much lost hope. It's easy to find yourself lost among the madness of the night, the detailed delusions recounted, the screams of fear from voices that do not exist in our reality. It's easy to get lost.
After more than a year of these periodic nights, I don't allow myself to get lost at 5 a.m. Sadness and anger still strike their simultaneous chords, but the melody is what I force myself to lose. I carry compassion with me, the passenger on my right side as I traverse mile after mile, from one hospital to the next. But at 5 a.m. I must bid farewell to the agony of others' pain, to the torment of a full moon. At 5 a.m., my passenger and I struggle to keep our eyes open, but only to see the road. My ears are still strained, but only to hear the melody that comforts me in the stillness of the early morning.
At the end of the night, with the first light of day breaking above me, I come home, climb into bed, and drift into a dreamless sleep.
~night shift~
3 p.m.
last I checked
6:30 a.m.
a long drive home
from hospitals
more than one
screams echoing
off stark white walls
anger and silence
warning of death
the radio played
another top 20
I switched the dial
Spanish language
melody of love
I did not know
the words being sung
the future of my patients
only the moment
the melody
the long road home.
posted by tara dawn @ 12:31 PM
10 Comments:
Powerful lines.
The poem is beautiful-but the writing at the beginning-took my breath away.....wow....your writing is so powerful
most excellent
Tara, this is so wonderful and powerful. You have such a way with words and rhythm, both in and out of your poetry. Thank you so much for this!
Captures the essence of acceptance in living in the moment, for all life's uncertainties. Well done!
Lovely poem, expressing so much emotion in so few lines. And the writing before the poem is great too!
Even though I don't share your profession, I can totally feel this poem.
I used to love that time when I was so hazy and tired and it was 5 a.m. and the sun was coming up and I was going to sleep.
xoxo
It is strange the way we learn to deal with grief and the emotions that are to heavy to bear.
Working as a florist I worked with families grieving the loss of a loved one on an almost daily basis. Sometimes I would end up crying right along with them--even when they were strangers. But somewhere along the lines I learned how to hold myself at a safe distance..although, I'll admit, some days it was harder than others.
You are an amazing woman for being able to help people the way you do. I don't think I could do that.
Peace to you, dear friend.
i love the part about compassion being a "passenger on my right side." wonderful!
You really captured the feeling of late nights working in crisis situations. There is a lull between space and time that captures the tired mind.
I work at a crisis unit on over nights and receive many clients from hospitals carried in ambulances. There is something about becoming a nightwalker, seeing the world while others sleep that changes one's perspective, and enhances the appreciation for bed when its all said and done.
I also loved the poem! Thank you.
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