night's unfamiliar path

The days are long, the heat suffocating. The nights are even longer. Even though I adore the sight of a huge yellow moon filling the blackness of a night sky, even though the chirping of crickets at night and the distant shimmer of a lone star make me want to dance in the darkness…even though nighttime has always been one of my best friends, I find myself filled with reluctance as the sun begins its descent. I wonder if sleep will once again hide itself among the worries of my mind, evasive to the point of madness. I wonder if when my eyes do finally close if the world of dreams will haunt me or soothe me in those unconscious hours of oblivion.

I love the night, but my body and mind ache for sleep, for respite from the burning of busyness that fills my days. Even the leisure hours seem to exhaust me, leaving me restless and fatigued simultaneously, wandering aimlessly.

I feel a bit lost without the comfort of my work at 3 a.m. With no pager attached to my hip, no empty roads to traverse in the midnight silence, no cries of hopelessness to ease…I feel a bit lost. And so the nights arrive now, leaving me with no path of familiarity.

I sit here now, the vast expanse of ebony sky my only blanket, and I wonder…where do I go from here?