can you see the beauty?

Can you see the beauty of the sunrise,
blanketed in the mist of the rising river?
Can you see the beauty of the sunset,
drowning in a sea of ebony sky?
Can you see the beauty of a baby's birth,
God entrusting us with a new soul?
Can you see the beauty of a loved one's passing,
God promising eternity?
Can you see the beauty of a wonderful day,
filled with happiness and laughter?
Can you see the beauty of a trying day,
filled with frustration and obstacles?
Can you see the beauty of the person next to you,
with whom you've chosen to share your heart?
Can you see the beauty of the person in front of you,
whose reflection bounces off the mirrored glass?

lost in a memory

So often it seems that memories bring with them feelings of sadness and longing for what once was. But today a surge of memories brought me not only a sense of calm remembrance, but a blissfully refreshing sense of spirit.
I was driving down the road, trying to clear my mind from the overwhelming chaos of life. Then I heard it...a song, the song. You know that one song that can lift your spirit no matter what the circumstances...that one song that makes you throw out all your fears or sadnesses with complete abandon...and makes you forget everything but the goodness and beauty in the world. It was that song for me. And I allowed myself to become lost in it...my mind drifting backwards to a time when beauty was all I allowed myself to know.
And away my mind drifted, to a world full of memories that brought with them such sheer happiness that I found myself embracing the memories and inviting even more. My mind drifting...to a place so far away, and yet so close...to an open road surrounded by mountains and hills....then the arid purity of the desert stretching for endless miles....then the warm greeting of the familiar Atlantic. What an incredible journey...one that will live on in my memories forever.

serving a purpose

A very wise woman once told me that people enter our lives for a purpose. Sometimes, that purpose is served and a relationship continues. Other times, that purpose is served and then the person disappears from our lives. I remember at the time being so consumed with emotions that I thought this was an incredibly depressing way to view relationships. And it still saddens me.
I suppose I want to believe that those people closest to your heart will always be there. Only with great anguish does the realization of reality come. The fact is that what that woman said is often right. As we all grow and change, relationships often fade or disappear completely. I still like to believe that the truly important ones cannot wholely disappear, but merely may become overshadowed at times. And those ones that touch your soul the deepest...those are like the tide...a constant ebb and flow...but continuous nevertheless.

Though it recedes farther and farther from shore, the tide can always come back in.

Strength comes from the strangest places,
at times from places you cannot even fathom.
And yet it is always there,
within you,
sitting and waiting for the time to come
when you need it most.
And when that time comes,
suddenly it appears,
ready to carry you
until you are ready to walk.

Right now, I am cradled in the arms of strength.

anger

anger...
bites its jagged teeth
into the core
of my existence
threatening to mutilate
the skin
of my soul.
anger...
bears its sharpened claws
in open hatred
of the broken pieces
of which my heart
once was.

the treasure of friends

It seems that as you get older, the meaning and value of friends changes quite drastically. Rather than people with whom to spend time and have fun, friends become a more integral part of your heart and soul. They become the cornerstone of your sanity, the haven in the night. And you realize that it is the quality of your friendships that makes life both bearable and beautiful.
Some of those friends are ones you've had since childhood, and months pass between times of contact. But that bond, that understanding and unconditional acceptance, that pure love, stays in your heart every day. Those are the friendships in which nothing is questioned, nothing is judged, nothing is expected, and everything is appreciated. How rare and precious those friendships are.
Then there are the friends that haven't been in your life nearly as long, but have left just as strong an impact. The friends that you know will always be there in the future, through the weddings and funerals, the times of elation and the times when you just want the world to end. Sometimes you know within a short time who those people are, and sometimes down the road, you discover that you were wrong about them...that they are not the friends you thought they were. And sometimes you discover that the ones you never knew would be those types of friends are the ones that actually become your best friends.
But I think the biggest realization comes when you are at your lowest point. You look around you and find that few are by your side. But the ones that are...they are the truest treasure.

loneliness

the loneliness encapsulating, tears tumble in abandon
felt in the depths, every crevice, every hidden corner of my heart
breaking and crumbling under the shattered remnants
of what once was
now it is no longer, and so it is
that i sit in this cloud of fear, the sea's rage drowning
me in suffocation and blackness, images glimmering
on the surface so far above, so unreachable
from where i am
not where i was, and so it is

spiraling

I'm caught in the strength of what feels to be an infinite spiral. Each day, I awaken to a world of beauty, but the sunlight fades for me long before the arrival of evening. What has happened to those days when the colors of the world bore into me so deeply than even in the darkest moment of the night, I was overwhelmed by the world's beauty? What happened to the days of blissful vitality and the nights filled with a sweet serenity? I feel the sparks of life still desperate to ignite within the depths of me, yet I squelch the flame before those glorious burning embers can escape. Why, you might ask...if I know that incredible life force is still the essence of my spirit, then why do I resist? Why do I allow such battles to exist within me? Why do I find myself shaded from the sunlight and lost from the beauty?

Fear.

inevitable change

Change is inevitable. The world, and all those in it, are constantly changing. And yet there are those moments, far too often, when our lives feel stagnant. Moments when we forget that each new moment is bringing a new experience. Moments when we forget that we are all evolving and constantly changing organisms. And so, because we forget, we find ourselves in a place of complacency and discontent.
The truth is that is often takes some monumental event for us to notice the changes taking place. Losing a loved one, or gaining a loved one...two of those monumental events that have caused me to step back and evaluate life and the beautiful or heartbreaking nuances of each moment.