the magic of halloween

The air is brisk outside and autumn is now in full swing. The elaborately decorated jack'o'laterns sit perched with their menacing grins upon the terrace railings. Children run about, gleeful in their innocenc and excitement. Only a few more hours before darkness falls and the creative creatures of the night begin their clumsy stumble from door to door. Pirates with a sneer painted upon their chubby faces, ballerinas adorned in glittering sparkles from head to toe, hideously frightening witches with their pointy noses and broomsticks, and maybe even a miniature Superman carelessly rearranging his sock-filled muscles. And then there's the babies...the tiny bundles of giggles and coos, clothed in warm lion headdresses and round plush pumpkin suits. What a joyous time it is for children, and for those of us who love children. Even in the morning, you can feel the magic of Halloween in the air.

commitment

I’ve suddenly been faced with the realization that I must slow down my life. It’s sad in a way that it took a hospitalization and almost two weeks of being bedridden for me to come to this glaringly obvious realization. After all, people have been telling me this for months. But for those of you who know me, you know how stubborn I am. However, I have now been left with no other choice. It’s either slow down or lose it all.
The preacher in church this morning was talking about commitments…commitments to relationships, commitments to our bodies and minds, commitments to living an abundant life. While sitting in that majestically beautiful sanctuary, listening to the deep and knowing voice of a stranger, I realized that my life has become only a series of motions, and recently even the motions have disappeared. So I decided this morning, in the midst of all that beauty and glory and amazing comfort, that not only must I relearn to live, I must also learn to live a life of abundance. I must allow myself to live a life filled with joy and happiness, fun and laughter, relaxation and peace. And only once I arrive in that place will I be able to also live a life filled with success and productivity.
So thanks to some of the worst weeks of my life, the kind voice of a stranger, and the miracle of God….I now have my commitments.

the game of random words

For as long as I can remember, I've written poetry. About a year ago, I was reading a lot of my writings and realized that I tended to write about the same things....i.e. mostly love, nature, and pain. So a friend and I began a game...he would tell me a word and I would have to write a poem about that word, with a time limit of approximately 5-10 minutes. Little did I know how powerful this would be for me as a way to grow in both perception and diversity as a writer. More than a year later, I have again found myself writing of the nuances and idiosyncrasies of random words. After another round of "the game of random words" tonight, here are a couple results.


-Bumblebee-

tiny and frail,
yet fierce as a lioness
tiptoe, toes pointed
then pirouette
gold sequined bodice
and miniature slippers
Mommy’s angel
wearing a pout
the perfect picture
of
innocence.



-Gobstopper-

morning and night
frustration and doubt
the world swirls in chaos
but he sits in contentment
focus renewed
hope reinstilled
believing in miracles
and realizing
layer by layer
as each color fades
and the taste becomes sweeter
his dreams will become
his life.

leaves of gold, and rust

leaves of gold, and rust
brittle
beneath a delicate touch
crunching
underfoot through wooded paths
glimmering
in the glow of late afternoon sun
leaves of gold, and rust

growing

Sometimes I stop and contemplate where I am and where I’ve come from, both literally and metaphorically. Oftentimes these thoughts come when I’m speeding down the freeway at 75 mph and suddenly realize that I’m in the middle of 6 lanes of barreling traffic. Though this might not seem like a monumental revelation, it happens to be one for me. I can easily remember the days, not so long ago, when I refused to even drive on the interstate, much less in the middle lane. The days when the mere thought of such traffic terrified me to paralysis. The days when I could not have fathomed that the incessant beeping of horns and the blur of swerving cars would be a part of my everyday life.

Sometimes these thoughts come when I’m walking through the doors of one of Atlanta’s many, busy Emergency Rooms. Or when I’ve already walked through those doors and I’m speaking with some lost soul who has thankfully failed at ending their life. And the stench of sickness is overwhelming to the senses and I realize that only mere months ago the fear would have been too great to sit in these germ-filled rooms.

Sometimes these thoughts arise from nothing more than the sight of the skyline, with its monstrous buildings rising into the clouds. And I remember that only a year ago, those buildings were replaced by open fields and country highways, bales of cotton and miles of flat land. And before that were the jagged coastline and ancient oak trees with wiry streamers of Spanish moss. The scent of salty marsh that once greeted me through open windows has changed. First, to the aroma of freshly mowed farms that accompanied an ever-present silence. Now, to the smell of fuel exhaust that accompanies the constant buzz of too many people and too much traffic.

Regardless of what is happening when I stop and think of these changes, I am always reminded that some things never change. Though the specifics of my daily life are a drastic alteration from my past, I still feel the same emotions. A year ago, I would drive to work and thank God for the tranquility offered in the scenery. Now, I drive to work and thank God for the beauty of the river that I cross every day. And I thank God for the opportunities that I have been given in this city of diversity and grandiosity. But though the forms have changed, the underlying blessings are still here.

And each time I think of all the changes that have occurred, I am also reminded of how much I have grown to be in the place I am now. And this growth is the greatest blessing of all.

hard rain

The rain came down hard today, and too many people were soaked to the bone. Struggling to stay above water, a few went under, but thankfully came back up.

It was one of those days that danger and tragedy came too close for comfort. A day that hid its blessing under torrents of pouring rain and black skies. A day that proved that someone was watching over us all, and a day that revealed the presence of miracles. And yet, even with miracles, or perhaps because of them, I have been left feeling like my emotions have exhausted themselves with the old rainwater running through the gutters outside my window. And like the water running through the gutter til it is expelled on the hard ground, I feel my own emotions flowing rapidly, bracing themselves for the hard ground I fear I'll find at the end.

But who knows? Maybe tomorrow the sun will shine.